Took all of about two minutes of walking around downtown Sacramento for the Tour of California prologue to snap out of the lovey dovey John Denver funk I'd been in for the last few months. Really, there's no help for me. I hate everyone. Especially these knuckle draggers.
Dig the longjohns under the basketball shorts but c'mon everyone knows the tube socks go under the thermal underpants.
One of these lesbians might be Geogena Terry but since they're still wearing their helmets I can't tell. At they're safe from falling coconuts and muggers lurking on the other side of the tree thanks to their mirrors.
How to tell you're in Sacremento- three fixie riding hipsters and not a single Chrome Bag. That poor Jansport backpack would never cut it in the big city.
At least the guy on the right doesn't try to hide the fact that he's still using brakes.
The only guy to finish RAAM without having to stop for food.
Why's the green bike even locked? Like anyone is going to steal a bike that's impossible to ride.
Last but not least, the hippest girl in Sacramento.
You gotta give her big ups for her toughness though. She was able to stand next to a dude in sweatpants and not melt because as we all know sweatpants are a hipster's kryptonite.
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