Who wears short shorts?

HE wears short shorts.

Guess there's always a first time for everything. In this particular case, it's my first time ever seeing a dude in hot pants who was just a dude wearing hot pants.

I checked him out from all sides and his hot pants weren't accessorized with a back alley boob job or a $3 wig crammed under his helmet. I shouldn't have been surprised though as this dude was riding a carbon fiber bicycle and not pushing a shopping cart like your typical transvestite hooker.

This dude was just a dude. A man's man who enjoys wearing hot pants.

I just hope someday, preferably in the not too distant future for the sake of the innocent public, this sporting chap takes a moment to check his reflection as he pedals past a giant storefront window.

Maybe if we're lucky the sun will be at its most opportune angle and this hot pants wearing dude's reflection will be bounced back to him so crystal clear he might as well be watching himself on HDTV and then, only if we're really lucky, he'll ask himself "Do my meaty thighs really jiggle that much when I pedal?"

Yes dude. Your thighs jiggle. A lot. And it's pretty gross.

Maybe sometime when you're out for a ride, you could do us all a favor and tally up how many other dudes you see wearing hot pants. Then you could take whatever shockingly low number you come up with over to your local scientist and/or zoologist and he or she could explain to you in candid scientifically backed detail all the reasons why human males shouldn't wear be wearing hot pants.

My guess is "it's just wrong" would be at the top of the list.